Our monthly meetings (last Wednesdays) begin with interactive icebreakers and a talk from Kamala Devi or another experienced tantra teacher. There will be a group discussion and experiencial practices which help us become more fully expressed in love, sex, and spirituality! Topics include: multipartner relationships, free love, polyfidelity, making agreements, poly geometry, bisexuality, radical honesty, non-violent communication and more! Everyone is welcome. Future "Sacred Path of Poly" Gatherings are scheduled for: July 23rd, Aug. 27th, Sept 24th. at 6:45pm at the Emerald Temple $10 per person.
We are also offering monthly Sacred Sensual Play Parties on the second Saturday of the month from 6pm-Midnight July 12th, Aug.9th, Sept. 13th, Oct. 11th Space is limited. (Love is Not!) $15 per person
NEW EVENT: 5 hour playshop with REiD Mihalko & Kamala Devi Sunday July 28th.
FREE LOVE: Can You Really Afford it?
In this Playshop You Will:
*Explore your fantasies
*Reduce misunderstandings
*Learn how to love without guilt
*Connect with other open minded lovers
*Expand your sense of freedom, trust and joy in relationship
You’re invited to explore your true beliefs on love, jealousy, sex and letting go of control. We’ll be sharing experiences and techniques to help you resolve old hurts and transform fears. Experience more love and less pain. All levels welcome. To register contact Kamala@blisscoach.com
Coming Soon...Mark your Calendar for a 3 day retreat with REiD Mihalko & Kamala Devi Nov. 21, 22 & 23. Friday-Sunday
Tantra is a path towards enlightenment. As some individuals realize the oneness of their spirit, they may choose to explore the possiblity making love in the physical & sensual world with more than one being.The core concept of polyamory is being involved in or open to multiple loving relationships, in a context of honesty and negotiation. The word roots are poly = multiple, and amor = love.
I awoke to the knowledge that my beloved belongs to the Universe, and as such, possessiveness no longer belongs in my heart-- Kamala Devi
Following is a Sample Chapter from Sacred Sexual Healing by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamala Devi
WHAT IS POLYAMORY?
Deborah Taj Anapol popularized the term polyamory in her landmark book, Love Without Limits. In a weekend training, Kamala remembers Taj saying, “Raise your hand if you’re married to the first person you ever loved and are still with that person today. Go ahead, raise your hand.” Nobody raised a hand. “Then I can deduce you probably have loved more than one person. Polyamory means “many loves” or the ability to love more than one.” Taj clarified that it doesn’t have to be all at the same time.
Polyamory.org also defines polyamory as “loving more than one”, and adds that loving may be sexual, emotional, spiritual or any combination of the three, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved. The term polyamory is also used to describe people who are currently involved in one or less relationships, but are open to more. Intimacy and the nature of the connection between individuals and groups of individuals vary greatly. The Sacred Path of Polyamory emphasizes openness, communication and consent. Deception or denying problems in the primary relationship by escaping to another lover can be damaging to self and others.
BUT ISN’T THAT SWINGING?
The relationship between swinging and polyamory is controversial. Most people agree that polyamory has more to do with emotionally intimate, long-term relationships than with one-night stands. Swinging is generally viewed as a form of monogamy in which two primary partners agree to have casual sex with other couples or singles, no strings attached. Swingers may continue to sleep with the same people for years, but they usually don’t go on romantic dates and/or process deep emotional issues together.
Baba Dez believes swingers are a category unto themselves. They have their own organizations, newsletters, conferences and contact networks under the label ”lifestyle”. The interactions of many swingers, as seen online, is often sexually explicit and overly concerned with superficial appearances. Swinging is rarely practiced as a spiritual pursuit. Most polyamory and Tantra practitioners, by comparison, do not approve of recreational sex.
Kamala, in contrast, considers swinging to be a subset of polyamory. As long as the individuals are practicing responsible and honest communication, it is only a slightly different love style with a stronger emphasis on sex. The poly and swing communities, in Kamala’s point of view, are allies under the umbrella of open relationships. We have seen many friends and clients who started out swinging and have matured and transitioned into intimate emotional connections. We have also seen many poly people have sexual awakenings that allowed them to let go of their judgment of sex for sex’s sake.
POLY-TANTRA
At first glance, polyamory and Tantra are not inherently related. We view polyamory as the practice of responsibly loving more than one, and Tantra as a spiritual path toward being in love all the time. People can practice Tantra without polyamory; people can practice polyamory without Tantra. Tantra, however, dramatically improves our experience of polyamory because it offers philosophy, practices and tools that make loving more than one person easier, deeper and more ecstatic.
For several decades, Baba Dez has been walking the sacred path, which at different times has been celibacy, monogamy and polyamory. In a recent interview, he discussed his practice:
“I currently enjoy many relationships on many levels. I have been friends and lovers with some women for almost thirty years. And with others, I have only recently been blessed by their presence in my life. The ‘now’ keeps unfolding and it is exciting to see who keeps showing up.
“When I’m with women I feel attracted to, I pay attention to, What is the nature of this attraction? What is the feedback from my heart, my emotions and my body? What is the truth? Where does my desire meet theirs in each new moment?
“How do I share in a way that feels safe, real, honoring and supportive? How ready, willing and able am I? How ready, willing and able is this other person? I notice where I would want to make the relationship into more or into less than what it is. Making more out of a relationship happens because we want something so much we distort reality.
“When we decide to only have sex with a soul mate or life partner, we may find ourselves in delusion about what a relationship truly is, because our need for sex is so great that we subconsciously make someone fit our criteria for life partner, just so that we can have sex with them. Over time we wonder how we got involved with this person. ‘What was I thinking?’
“On the other hand, we sometimes make less out of a relationship because we are afraid of the depth, intimacy and sweetness. To avoid the possibility of rejection and loss, we minimize a relationship, convincing ourselves that this person is not for us because of a mental list of reasons. We unconsciously push a beautiful relationship away and even end it because we are afraid of the possible loss. Often there is even relationship addiction where people become compulsive about the quest or conquest.
“When I start entering intimate territory, it is essential for me to stay connected to my belly and my heart. I let go of what things look like and stay open to what everything feels like. This is how I avoid undermining my relationship with God, self, or my beloveds.”
HAVING NEEDS IS NOT NEEDY
Mainstream culture teaches us that your family needs can be met by your family of choice. Your entertainment needs can be met by going out. Your intellectual needs can be met by books or classes. Your physical needs can be met by going to gyms and playing with workout buddies. But for some reason, your intimate, romantic and sexual needs should only be met from one person!
Tragically, many people live their entire lives sacrificing their needs because their primary partner can’t meet them. Another problem we observe is couples believing that their partners are responsible for their happiness, financial success and/or orgasms. This kind of thinking is a red flag, pointing to the need for self-work.
The ultimate primary relationship is always self or Spirit. No matter how empathetic and intuitive your partner may be, only you know what you truly want and need. Nor is it possible or desirable for any one person to meet all of your needs. We don’t have to become completely self-sufficient, but how we can’t expect anyone else to meet our needs if we want to take care of them ourselves?
No matter how evolved our consciousness is, all humans have needs. We must learn to listen to our body, belly and heart to learn what they are. It’s easy for our sophisticated minds to grasp poly theory, but it’s hard for our wounded inner child to catch up.
This is why we advocate giving your little kid a gigantic double scoop of compassion. Let the inner child know that all feelings and needs are as yummy as rocky road ice cream and underneath all of the messy emotions, there are basic human needs. We all have the need to feel included, secure, special, provided for, considered, honored, appreciated, desired, respected, accepted, loved and loveable.
There are also many contradictory needs that compel people into poly, such as the need for freedom, truth, sexual expression, variety, novelty, romance, excitement, spontaneity, and abundance. As we practice accepting basic needs, we cultivate a greater capacity to accept the less desirable needs such as the need to look good, to be in control, to be deviant, to be held, to be touched, to touch, to merge sexually, to rebel, or to shock. Whatever your needs are, we invite you to breathe deeply and accept them. Judging ourselves is counterproductive to our evolution.
Poly is a profoundly abundant state of mind. Consider the possibility that you can have all of your needs met, as long as you are not attached to getting them met by one person. The universe is infinite and it can provide for infinite desires. So, own your desires, make clear requests to get them met, and be willing to receive.
Ultimately, individuals must walk the path that matches the shape of their heart. Many people who discover they are not monogamous find it challenging to swim against the mainstream current alone. Whether you are celibate, monogamous, or polyamorous, we encourage you to surround yourself with individuals who are spiritually and sexually positive. It takes courage to reach out and accept support from healers, friends and family, but once you dip your toes into the stream of a sacred path, you will find teachers to help guide your way. If you continue to move towards the messages from your body, belly and heart, you will know when it is safe to dive in.
Other Polyamory Resources:
http://www.nfnc.org/ NFNCseeks to build a sustainable, violence-free culture through exploring intimacy, personal growth, transparency, radical honesty, equality, compassion, sexual freedom, and the power of community. Great Links Page: http://www.nfnc.org/links.html
www.polyamory.org Alt.polyamory is a USENET newsgroup more or less full of people interested in talking about polyamory and related topics. Also see www.polyamory.com
http://www.lovemore.com Loving More® Magazine — the only magazine dedicated exclusively to topics involving Polyamory-multi-partner relating, to help distribute books relevant to polyamory, to host conferences and workshops, and to act as a national clearinghouse and public forum for the polyamorous movement.
Kamala Devi is the author of Don't Drink the Punch, Sacred Sexual Healing and a life coach leading people Toward Success & Self Realization!To Register for an event, or for more info. please contact: Kamala@Blisscoach.com or call 858-272-2254 M-TH 10am-6pm PSTZendow, Inc. Copyright 2008
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